Battle Scars
by Caroline Cain
Summary: The war against the Hundrum is over, and the Mage is dead. But how is Simon coping with losing his main purpose in life? Mostly Baz's internal angst. *set post Carry On This is my first Fic so please be kind :)


~ Baz ~

The icy wind slams the door shut behind me just as I walk through, my hands loaded with groceries unable to stop it. I wince at the noise, plonking the bags down on the tabletop, and call out "Simon! I'm home!". Technically, this is Simon and Penny's home, but I figure that since I spend most nights here and am the only one not either too busy or too forgetful to actually buy groceries, I can claim it as my own. Especially since Penny is in America visiting Micah, so I have been practically living here for the past week. I shrug off my coat, calling out "Simon, where are you?" But I hear no response as I put away the groceries, which is strangely unusual. Simon usually comes barreling towards me whenever I return home, like an over excited puppy, but I hear nothing. I mentally go through his schedule, but he doesn't have any classes today, and he was still here late this morning when I left. With Penny gone, there's no one other than me to spell Simon's wings and tail invisible, so he couldn't have gone out.

I start venturing through the house, checking each room for signs of Simon, until I find him, sound asleep, curled up on the couch with a book clutched loosely in one hand and earphones in his ears. His red leathery wings are curled around himself, cradling himself against the cold, making him look so peaceful. I gently pull the book out of his hand and set it in the ground next to him, and then carefully pull out his already loose earphones, setting them next to the book along with his iPod, which had fallen off long ago. I find a blanket and drape it over him, gazing adoringly at his sleeping figure. Who would of thought that we would, it hasn't been, but that's been for the better. Simon isn't constantly so wary of 'going off', he can just be normal. Although him loosing his magic was devastating, he seems to be coping well and seeing that magical therapist seems to really help him.

I grab the book that Simon was reading and settle into the armchair across from him, inspecting the cover. It's called Indoor Gardening by Kiara Newman. I roll my eyes at the cover. Simon's obsession with small plants and cacti is driving me crazy, with each room having at least five plants. Each morning he gets up and carefully waters each plant, checking their health and moving them about the room to increase or decrease their levels of sunlight. Ever since his therapist suggested he try to grow that one small pot of herbs, he's been dedicated to growing plants. As much as it annoys me, I grin and bear it, because I really owe those plants a lot. At first when Simon moved in, he was happy and cheerful, but after a few months he became subdued and very quiet, falling into a deep depression. He would stay in bed all day, eventually stopped going to classes and barely ate, which is very uncharacteristic of him. Both Penny and I were at loss of what to do, as he barely even talked to us and nothing seemed to be making anything better. But after his therapist suggested that if he felt that he couldn't take care of himself or anyone, why not try just taking care of a small little pot of parsley? He agreed and he seemed to really get into it. He started leaving his bed to water it and would adjust where it was sitting if it needed more sunlight. He even started taking a botany course at our local college, which he really seems to enjoy. It was a slow process, but the difference between him then and now is remarkable.

I wake up with a start, having dozed off reading Simon's book to the sound of something thrashing around. I peer through the darkness to see Simon, his wings flapping wildly and his tail flicking about. He's having a nightmare, and by the looks of it, it's a bad one. I'm kneeling beside the couch instantly, and I gently shake him to wake him up. His eyes shoot open, gazing at me for a while as his rapid breathing slows down to a steady rhythm. I pick him up, cradling him like a baby and carry him to his bed, laying him down and then joining him, holding him until he calms down. I don't even have to ask, I know exactly what his nightmare was about. He's been having the same one since the Mage, but it scares him every time. It took him a month until he finally told me what it was about. He described how it started off the same as what actually happened, with the humdrum being defeated, but when Penny and I burst in, the Mage kills us both, while Simon is helpless without magic. He didn't go into detail, and I didn't push it. He used to have it all the time, but this is the first time in a few weeks. He lays on top of my chest, steadily breathing as I hold him, neither of us talking. Soon, Simon falls peacefully back asleep, his tail occasionally moving about. I know not everything is flawless, but at the moment, Simon is all I need for it to be perfect.


End file.
